How to Have Good Conflict on Your Team

When we hear the word “conflict,” many people immediately think of negativity, tension, and personal attacks. However, if managed well, conflict can be a powerful driver of innovation and workplace performance.

Conflict in an organization is really about misalignment or disagreement over opinions, values, processes, or procedures. Today’s reliance on emails, texts, and social media often turns differing opinions into personal attacks because it’s easier to lash out when you’re not face-to-face. In reality, however, conflict can be a sign of a healthy, vibrant team if we learn to focus on ideas rather than on individuals.

The problem is that people too often make conflict personal. When we disagree, it’s usually because we feel our position is being threatened, fear change, or are uncertain about abandoning the status quo. This is why strong communication skills and creating safe spaces for open, honest dialogue are critical.

We need what Kim Scott calls "radical candor," which means caring personally while challenging directly. It also means that feedback is both kind and straightforward because there is an understanding and trust that the person is always valued and respected.

 Below are four key ways to turn conflict into a catalyst for growth and innovation in your team. I also had this conversation on the AM Northwest Morning Show, and you can watch that episode below. 

1. Discomfort as a Growth Catalyst

Disagreement causes discomfort, but feeling uncomfortable can spark new ideas and help you and the team grow. When we can step out of our comfort zones, we challenge old habits and open ourselves up to fresh perspectives. That slight discomfort signals that we’re pushing boundaries and exploring new territory—a necessary step for innovation.

To be successful, encourage open debates on challenging topics. Create a safe environment where team members can share bold ideas, even if it feels a bit awkward at first. This openness can lead to breakthroughs you might otherwise miss.

2. Distinguish Intellectual vs. Social Friction

Healthy conflict focuses on ideas (intellectual friction) rather than on tearing each other down (social friction). Too often, disagreements become personal when we let fear or uncertainty get in the way. Remember: a disagreement about an idea is not a personal attack. It’s about challenging assumptions and improving outcomes.

Set clear ground rules for discussions. Remind everyone to focus on the idea, not on the person presenting it. This will help ensure that debates remain constructive and everyone’s contributions are valued.

3. Master the Art of Communication

Clear communication helps teams share viewpoints and avoid misunderstandings. In today’s digital age, messages can be easily misinterpreted. Tone can be implied, and exchanges can become vitriolic. Clear, face-to-face dialogue or even well-crafted written communication can bridge gaps and prevent unnecessary conflict. However, it requires that you examine not only your own communication skills but also your motives, approach, and thoughts related to the person and the communication.

Practice active listening. Before responding, repeat what you’ve heard to ensure you understand your colleague’s point of view. If you get upset, ask yourself why. What are you misinterpreting or reading into the disagreement? These simple steps can minimize misunderstandings and build trust within the team.

4. Psychological Safety Doesn’t Mean Comfort

A truly “safe” workplace supports honest feedback and risk-taking, even when it feels uncomfortable. Psychological safety isn’t about avoiding tension altogether. It’s about creating a space where everyone feels secure enough to express their opinions and take risks without fear of personal backlash, and that must first be modeled by the leader. If you're not creating a space where your people can even disagree or respectfully challenge a process or procedure, it will be difficult for your team to feel that safety. 

Show genuine gratitude when someone speaks up, especially if they offer a dissenting opinion. Recognizing their courage to share builds trust and reinforces an environment where honest feedback is welcomed.

Summary

Conflict in the workplace isn’t inherently negative; it’s all about how you handle it. By focusing on respectful communication and viewing disagreements as opportunities to challenge the status quo, you can turn conflict into a growth catalyst. Whether you embrace the discomfort that sparks new ideas or distinguish between healthy debates and personal attacks, these practices can foster a culture of innovation and high performance.

Remember, it’s not about eliminating conflict but managing it in a way that encourages everyone to learn, grow, and succeed together. Adopt these tips in your team meetings, and watch how a little disagreement can lead to significant breakthroughs.

AM Northwest Segment Below: